so I listened to a podcast today of transracial adoption. Everything I ever read or hear about transracial adoption errs on the side of negative. This topic was about how we cannot be "color blind" and we do need to raise our children differently than we would if we had our own biological children.
I am addressing color blind first. What is the speakers definition of color blind? Of course we can't pretend that our children are the same color as us. Duh! However, by drawing attention to that fact and telling kids to expect to be treated differently is insane to me. That is keeping racism and prejudices alive. Yes, our children might experience incidents of racism but by telling them to plan on it, aren't you creating racism in their minds? As well as inadvertently suggesting that they themselves are not good enough. lesser than individuals because they are adopted transracially? Shouldn't we be promoting how much these parents wanted them? If and when the incidents occur, address the issues then. I don't believe in being Naive but I don't believe in helping to create a problem either. Every person I have heard on radio and TV that were supposedly raised transracially always have a sob story. But I personally, have spoken to black teenagers and adults who feel lucky to have been adopted. Why are their stories never told publicly?
which brings me to my next issue. Why does no one bring up where these children would be if they weren't adopted? Is being raised in foster care or by a mother that is 13, 14, 15 or 16 and does not have the proper education or maturity or most likely finances to parent really considered better than being adopted by parents of another race who love these children dearly and most cases waited years to get the opportunity to be parents? It was stated that now 40% of adoptions are transracial. I would think with statistics like that things should be bound to get better. It isn't so odd to have parents of a different race.
Now as far as raising these children differently than we would our biological children.. may I ask why? When they are adopted they are legally our children. When they are adopted as infants they don't know or understand another culture. Why should we create a culture different than ours? When someone of German descent adopts a child of Irish descent no one suggests that they must start doing Irish jigs in their home to make than child feel more comfortable. Why don't we let these children determine for themselves who and what they want to be? Teach them with love. Teach them to be honest, hard working, caring individuals. Yes, we will make mistakes. our kids might hate us at times but guess what? biological parents have struggles with their kids too. Did we forget that? That is why no one says parenting is easy.. adopted, adopted transracially or biological no one can make the calls of how your children will turn out. Let's not assume we can.
The Encouragement Challenge
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